Just Keira Knightley

She might not be the most curvaceous of actresses but there's definitely something about her. Maybe it's the posh British accent or maybe it's just her willingness to get all dressed up as a pirate. Who knows?

What the hell would we do at Christmas if chicks weren't invented, can you imagine? Without mammaries of mass distraction man would probably have time to invent clean energy or annihilate each other, just for kicks!

Ow. It hurts just looking at these scorched bodies, what's wrong with them? They're either on a death wish or they just don't get that big, bright burning yellow orb in the sky that we orbit around. It gives off heat as well as light :(

You've passed out due to one to many root beers and your friends have taken the liberty of abusing your comatose body. Most of this abuse you wouldn't want to be awake for but fear not, there will lots of photos.

You hear that? Listen closely, the Geordie twang, heralding the end of society as we know it. Remember the Mayan prophecy about 2012, the end of the world? Well, look at this series about the north of England as the bell tolls.

It's something that has happened to all red-blooded males with a pulse and GOD FORBID that there might be someone around with a camera to record the event when it does!

It really is true what they say about 'What is seen can never be unseen!', because no matter how much someone tried to put any of these photos in context it wouldn't cahnge your formed opinion of 'WTF!?!'

Lets face it, they chew your furniture & shoes, attract dirt like they are magnetized, eat anything and throw up what doesn't seem to get digested and hump the leg of the person who will be the most offended. But. We love them more than words can say.

If there is something else you'd feel comfortable with your girlfriend purring her hands all over besides you it'd have to be your guitar, two of the dearest things in your life that you love to cherish together. It's a perfect synergy.

I love a themed party, why? Well, for one it's a chance to adopt an alter-ego personality & of course the other reason is that chicks seem to love come dressed, well, in not very much at all - Let the party begin!

One of the few joys of living in New York has to be the cab rides, entrusting your wellbeing to a man who has a name on his taxi license that would, in any other situation, make you laugh so hard you'd wet yourself.